3 steps to instantly shift from a Negative to A positive mindset

Your thoughts drive your emotions and your emotions drive your behaviour. 

In order to change your behaviour from people-pleasing, controlling, playing the victim, over-achieving, procrastinating or any other self-sabotaging behaviour, you have to start with your mindset. 

I don’t have to tell you that any of those self-sabotaging behaviours aren’t doing you any good. You know that. That’s really why you’re reading this. The real question is how do you recognize the behaviour and stop it? 

Your thoughts have power and they can either serve you positively or negatively. 

Research shows that one negative thought leads to another and another and so on until you find yourself spiralling down a path of destruction. Over time those thoughts that keep firing together in your brain form patterns and those patterns become habits. Essentially, you’ve spent so much time thinking about those negative thoughts that the subsequent feelings and actions associated with them become second nature. 

This is key to understanding how to make the shift to a positive mindset. The more you practise becoming aware of your thoughts, catching those negative ones before they spiral out of control, and reframing your thoughts, then you will be able to change your behaviour and therefore your habits. Think about the last time you had an idea. Did you talk yourself out of it just as quickly as you had the vision for it? 

Here’s how negative thoughts can spiral out of control.

“I have a great idea for a book!

Yes, I’m excited. That could be a really great project. 

Although…writing a book takes a long time. 

I don’t have that much spare time. My plate is already so full with my work and the kids. 

Not to mention how exhausted I am at the end of the week after dealing with that one nightmare of a client. Ugh! I really can’t stand her but she pays me, so I have to put up with her. Anyhow…

The truth is, I’m not even a writer. Who would even read a book I’ve written? This makes no sense. 

Scrap that idea. “ 

We’ve all had a scenario like this play out in our minds in some way shape or form. You move from excitement to self-doubt, criticism, and judgement to making excuses and finally landing on self-sabotaging behaviour like procrastination or avoidance.

Instead, try these three steps to instantly shift your mindset from negative to positive thoughts:

1.STOP

 The minute you notice the negative chatter, it’s time to intercept it before it spirals out of control. 

2.BREATHE 

Take a deep breath. This triggers relaxation in your body and allows you to move your brain's focus from thoughts to the breath. Focus your attention as your breath goes in and out. This distracts your brain from connecting with other negative thoughts.

3.CHOOSE  

Now you can choose a new positive thought. Allow your inner coach to guide you towards more compassionate, kind and loving thoughts about yourself, others and the situation. 

Now let’s see how the same scenario could go a little differently.

“I have a great idea for a book!

Yes, I’m excited. That could be a really great project. 

Although, writing a book takes a long time. 

I don’t have that much spare time. My plate is already so full with work and the kids. 

**Pause and notice the negative thought before it spirals**

**Take a few deep breaths to stop the mind chatter**

**Shift the thoughts from negative to positive**

Hmmm ok yes, I do have a lot on my plate but how can I make room for this new project?

I could wake up an hour earlier and write every morning. Yes! That could work.

Ok, let me set my alarm clock for tomorrow. I’ll start small with 20 minutes of writing.”

Stopping to notice the negative pattern of thoughts and consciously shifting them to something positive changes the behaviour. Instead of being paralyzed by the negative spiral, you move to action. 

This is not about denying your feelings. Rather, it’s about shifting the language to something more empowering so that you can move your mindset from being fixed and stuck in doubt to being in an expansive place of possibility and growth. You become more solution-oriented instead of fixating on the problem.